Gradual Self-denial

So Lark invited me to go out late last night since he and his friends that I've already met where in the area. It was only at the coffee shop at first but I also suggested to another place.

I was hesitant of course since my boyfriend would be furious again. In fact, he's becoming delirious that even when we're together he asked me what someone he doesn't trust texted me about when nobody sent me any messages.

Anyway, it was late at night already and I had second thoughts before leaving. I kept on inviting them to just go to our house but they just declined.

Things went well I guess and circumstances are helping me deny myself of Lark in a good way.

Yes, there's a thrill of doing something and having the presence of the risk of getting caught but it's always much easier when nothing really happened.

But I am getting just a bit annoyed by my boyfriend lately. Just a little bit.

Motel First

Just came home from my first motel experience and I didn't particularly liked it.

I love sex but knowing that every couple in the place is in line to have a room for it made me quite queasy.

Me and my boyfriend did have privacy but the walls weren't exactly thick. We were hearing moans of another couple. They were probably also hearing some of ours. I didn't care though. It was just a bit bothering that we were hearing female moans.

Easy Deception

I've done it again.

I know that it's easy to deceive someone if that person trusts you. And for you, it'll be completely easy to break that trust for your gain.

That's what I did last night.

This time it wasn't with Razor. It's with someone I met at work. Let's call him Lark.

I've been going out with Lark for about some weeks now but I couldn't tell my boyfriend since he doesn't trust the guy. I did like Lark before but there's nothing in between us right now.

I know my boyfriend shouldn't worry but I understand how he can't help it.

Technological Reciprocation

I think my relationship with Ocean is in the rocks. And it has every right to be there. I continued flirting with Razor and he continued flirting back.

I don't know, maybe he just wants sex from me. We would even have casual conversation about his boyfriend.

I'm still about confused but he's nothing compared to my love.

Maybe it's that Razor happens to have more time and he's quite willing. I don't know whey Razor is reciprocating.

An Attempt at an Introduction

Who am I? I know it's not easy to blurt out an introduction and here's my attempt...

I am in my twenties, working in a business district. I consider myself bisexual but right now I have a relationship with a guy. I'm not good at relationships and my beau has considered leaving me probably about a hundred times already. You see, he's my first.

With my current relationship, I say words like 'forever' but I'm not entirely sure about it. I know...

For the purpose of discussion, let's call my guy 'Ocean.'

...Ocean does loves hearing me say that I'll be with him forever but he has enough sensibility to think that things may not be entirely smooth for the two of us 'til death do us part.

My height is a bit taller than average. I graduated from one of the top schools in the capital. I live in a decent middle class home. As with the trend with my generation, my family is broken. But we're happy.

And I intend this blog to be an outlet of things that Ocean would kill me for. Or maybe society would beat him to it.

This would be my first admission...

I was thinking of having sexual relations with the boyfriend of one of my close friends.

I've only met Razor once and I got his number through his boyfriend, which is one of my close friends. Or maybe until he identifies me through this blog.

Razor is quite shy but as most shy people are, he is quite talkative through SMS and through chat. We would talk about deep things and about relationships but recently, we were both getting naughty. At first I thought we were just flirting and joking but then Razor became really interested with having sex with me.

I did flirt a bit more, even teasing him to go to my house. He was tired at the time and there were some considerable distance between me and him so he invited me to go online.

I was very familiar with the online game as that was where I met Ocean. Anyway, I saw Razor through a webcam and I just sent pictures as I was quite good with words. Razor was in the mood and I was nursing an itch at the time.

We both got hard and released. It wasn't just like jacking off with a friend. I was adoring his body and he had it tight! Without flexing, it was already decent but with some, it made me hard.

Razor and I knew that we were both offending our current relationships but we considered doing this. It was his first time and it wasn't exactly mine.

I do enjoy Razor and we even planned to do it in my room but I know I wouldn't want Ocean to leave me. And at the same time I wouldn't want to see Razor break up with his.

I know I'm not confused. That's just the way I feel.